Why The Tooth Fairy Didn’t Pay Up Last Night

Wrote this on the spur of the moment for a friend who forgot to deliver for the Tooth Fairy.  And it was used to explain the lack of funds.

Thought you might like it.

The Tooth Fairy was about to leave for her rounds when she discovered that her wings wouldn’t start.  She whipped out her Fairy Fone and dialed ELF (Emergency Lepidoptera Fixers) to come and jump start her wings. She was told that a technician would be there within the hour.  Tooth Fairy sat and waited, making a cup of nettle tea while she waited.  Nearly an hour later, the ELF technician arrived.

He “oohed” and “aahed” and prodded and lifted her wings this way and that way, making little “tut-tut” noises.

“What?!” said Tooth Fairy.

“Looks like you’ve got yourself some worn wings there, missy.  When was the last time you had these wings serviced?”

“What does that matter to you?”

“Just saying that without regular servicing, seals wear out and wings lose tension and just don’t start.”

Tooth Fairy “humphed” and said, “Can you fix them?”

“I can, but not sure you’d get very far on them tonight.  I can order some replacement wings, but they won’t be in until tomorrow.  Seems like you’re grounded.”

Tooth Fairy “humphed” one more time, mumbled “Thanks” and stomped back inside to arrange new wings, her combat boots trailing snaky shoelaces.

And that’s why she didn’t arrive last night.


13 responses to “Why The Tooth Fairy Didn’t Pay Up Last Night

  1. Well done, I’ll keep this in mind when my little one starts loosing teeth (although she needs to get them first, so it might be a while).

  2. When our tooth fairy failed to turn up three nights in a row a letter, written in hot pink pen was delivered to the toothless one:
    “Dear Mary, I’m so sorry I wasn’t able to come earlier but I tore my wing when a silly flying fox flew too close to me. I’ve been in the fairy hospital having it fixed.
    Yours is a much better explanation!

    • I’m keeping your idea Michelle for when my girls begin loosing dentures. There could be a whole picture book series in this. Personally, my version of the Tooth Fairy wears combat books like the angels in Julie Vivas’ The Nativity (a beautiful watercolour of said event. The angels have rainbow wings and big, heavy boots on).

  3. This is hysterical.. It was read out to my daughter who had been told I got and email from the Toothfairy to explain why she didn’t turn up last night… and so with all sincerity in her eyes nodded sagely and asked if I also had the email address to Santa.

  4. thank you by the way.. brilliant

  5. That… is a better excuse than I’ve ever heard. 🙂

  6. I’m calling my fairy, Griselda the Grumpy Tooth Fairy. She wears combat boots, short changes on her rounds and likes the occasional tipple of mead. And she can have a potty-mouth if the situation presents itself.

  7. I love this! It’s cheeky and a little irreverent, but wonderfully light tone!

  8. Spending the afternoon reading flash fiction. There’s a lot of very ‘worthy’ stories out there. Which one will I remember? This one. I loved it.
    And the tooth fairy would wear combats, i’m sure of it.

  9. itallmeanssomething

    Hilarious! I am in awe of how you came up this on the fly and it’s so believable. Great job, as usual.

  10. Lovely.

    We once forgot to be the toothfairy when my son was younger. I wrote an apology letter on fancy paper with a glitter pen. We had just moved and we used the excuse that the toothfairy got lost trying to find his new home. He also got an extra dollar out of the mix-up.

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