Yesterday, in a moment of sheer, blind, unreasoning panic I questioned whether I was doing the right thing. On the eve of taking a long service leave, a 3 month break from my job, I doubted myself.
I am taking leave to write a novel, my first. Every negative idea ran through like the after effects of a bad curry: I can’t do this. You’re a fool to think you can write a novel. What if you get stuck? Will you ever finish it? No one’s going to read it.
This is something I am passionate about and want to succeed in. The journey of a thousand miles might begin with a single step, but it requires a hell of a lot of planning and a large supply of Band Aids for the blisters. In the same way, the finishing of a novel begins with the setting down of a single word. Then another. And another until The End is reached.
I am in this for the long haul. I have a dream to write novels. This time off is the first step to achieving that dream. I have plans in place to help make this dream a reality. I will learn a lot in the time it takes to write my first novel and I can translate this to the next, then the next and so on.
Following a conversation on twitter between Alan Baxter (@AlanBaxter) and Tom Dullemond (@Cacotopus) yielded this gem of thought: Those who maintain their focus and diligence in the face of rejection and disappointment will find it easier to sustain themselves than those who find success comes easily.
I know I have a cheer squad who will shake their virtual pom poms if I get stuck.
Hand me my cardigan and tracky dacks; I have a novel to write.