10 Signs Your Child Is Destined to be a Writer

You might be a failed pen monkey, a starter of stories (but not a finisher of fables), or a wit in conversation but witless with words, yet your progeny has inherited the gift of the gab and the social mores of Hunter S. Thompson.

Here are 10 signs your child is destined to be a writer (hopefully without the social mores of Hunter S. Thompson).

1. The first gift they ask for is Roget’s Thesaurus and a copy of the Oxford English Dictionary (the 20 volume hardback edition, including supplementary volumes).

2. On their birthday they receive a card and gift certificate from their local bookstore AND local stationery supply store.

3. At bed time they don’t ask for a bed-time story; they ask you to read from Roget’s Thesaurus and the Oxford English Dictionary.

4. Your child categorically states, “a red pen is not for marking, it’s for editing.”

5. Your child is editing the work of other students. In kindergarten. For a fee (usually biscuits or first turn with the toys).

6. Your child has memorised the Associated Press Style Guide.

7. Your child no longer refers to you as “mother” or “father.” Instead you are referred to as “agent” or “publisher.”

8. You spend more money on printer ink cartridges and stationery than clothes for your child. You’ve even considered buying stocks in companies producing printer ink cartridges and paper manufacturers.

9. Last week’s family argument suddenly appears in the latest edition (completely fictitious, mind you, so they say) of their weekly web serial, “Stress Family Robinson.”

10. Your child edits the family Christmas letter and sends it back to you for revisions.

 

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5 responses to “10 Signs Your Child Is Destined to be a Writer

  1. Mine is a budding cartoon writer – so we also get to spend lots of money on art supplies/coloured pencils, manga and BD (for research purposes). And the amount of pens and pencils he seems to go through…

    • I’m a frustrated artist when it comes to pens and pencils, paint and paintbrushes. Love comics and cartoons. So very clever creativity and artistry. I know manga, but what’s BD?

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