Gary Brown, owner of G3 Photographics, wrote this on my Facebook wall in response to my questions about how he sees the creative life.
It is one of the most powerful statements about creativity I have ever read. It is an insight into Gary’s creative mindset, and into the darkness that sometimes plagues creative people.
It is a statement asking for understanding, a declaration of intent to bring beauty and art into the world .
It is reprinted here with permission.
The reason so many creative people feel alone, whether they are in a crowd, married, have many many friends, even at the moment of being applauded or recognised for their work… the alone feeling is this: in our imagination, in our soul, in our music, in our writing, in our photos is a world that we see/feel/envision in ourselves.
We try to express it, to share it but we know our skill can never truly, perfectly represent what we hear or see or feel. It’s like a parallel universe overlayed on our real life that we try to pull into existence. We can’t be placated, we can’t be made truly at home because our home is somewhere only we can visit.
So when the ‘real’ world dominates our time, thinking and/or efforts, we feel torn away from paradise. That’s why we go off, and spend time alone, visiting the place we truly feel at home.
Thanks for understanding and maybe, just maybe, you can get a glimpse of where we truly exist in peace.
I think this has been part of my reason for the battle I have with depression. I have fought for the first 30years of my life to try and bring the beautiful world in my soul into this one and used up all my life’s energy in doing so too fast. Then at 30 had nothing left but the realisation that I really don’t belong here. Went catatonic with this realisation, literally for 2 months. Then have spent the next 5 years learning that may be it’s good enough just to add a dash of colour and be happy at that.
I see such beautiful places, hear such powerful music, get to sit and just BE with some amazing people in my imagination. The worlds I walk through, exploring the landscapes of impossibility, skipping through time, dancing with thoughts, feasting on emotional realities, testing possible outcomes, directing hordes, caring for a ONE, saving many, loosing a few, battling on the battlements and lamenting the fallen. It all happens in vivid colours, vibrant sounds.
Here, here I am truly REAL.